Katalia (katalia76) wrote,
Katalia
katalia76

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It's quiet

The quiet that comes with the end of the semester. It's not quite as unnerving this time around, though. It's welcome. Right now I'm in my apartment making a half-hearted attempt to clean it, but the lethargy of my limbs and mind is making that attempt difficult. I might have to resort to my can't-deal-right-now method...put everything in piles and deal with it later.

I'm tired, worn out, but happy. I've been reading over my entries of when I first started this program, what I was afraid of, if I should take this chance. I can't imagine my life if I hadn't gone down this path. I can't imagine my life without any of these people I've met these past few years, or the experiences I've had. What struck me too was how unhappy was before I did this, and how I wasn't even truly aware of it. Then and now...it's a funny thing.

Life is all about taking chances, isn't it? I keep forgetting that. In the words of my teacher, "Try it. And if you fall on your face, SO WHAT?!" I need to hold onto that bit of wisdom. It's funny, Bean and I had a conversation about that way of thinking awhile back, to which he jokingly said something about even the idea of hurt pride being more powerful detriment than people give it credit for. I remember laughing and agreeing with him. Part of me still does, but the rewards can be so great. So can the failures, but hey, at least they were great.

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

Not me. I promise.
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